Q (Character)
from Agente 007 - Licenza di uccidere (1962)
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Skyfall (2012)
[
from trailer]
Q: The Walther PPK/S nine-millimeter short. It's been coded to your palmprint so only you can fire it. Less of a random killing machine, more of a personal statement.
Q: It always makes me feel a bit melancholy. Grand old war ship. being ignominiously haunted away to scrap... The inevitability of time, don't you think? What do you see?
James Bond: A bloody big ship. Excuse me.
Q: 007. I'm your new Quartermaster.
James Bond: You must be joking.
Q: Why, because I'm not wearing a lab coat?
James Bond: Because you still have spots.
Q: My complexion is hardly relevant.
James Bond: Your competence is.
Q: Age is no guarantee of efficiency.
James Bond: And youth is no guarantee of innovation.
Q: Well, I'll hazard I can do more damage on my laptop sitting in my pajamas before my first cup of Earl Grey than you can do in a year in the field.
James Bond: Oh, so why do you need me?
Q: Every now and then a trigger has to be pulled.
James Bond: Or not pulled. It's hard to know which in your pajamas. Q.
Q: 007.
Q: What did you expect, an exploding pen?
Q: I'm guessing this is not official.
James Bond: Not even remotely.
Q: So much for my promising career in espionage.
Q: There are only about six people in the world who could set up fail-safes like this.
James Bond: Can you get past them?
Q: I invented them.
Q: Why are the doors opening?
[
Bond runs]
Q: Oh, no. Can someone tell me how he got into our system?
Raoul Silva: [
program from his computer] Not such a clever boy.
Q: Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit. He hacked us.
Q: Where are you?
James Bond: [
He's on the train] Take a wild guess, Q.
Q: So much for my promising career in espionage.
[
At Q's lab, Q and Tanner try to create a false trail for Silva to follow]
Q: It's a fine line. If the breadcrumb's too small, then he might miss it. Too big, and Silva will smell a rat.
Tanner: Yes, but you'd think even Silva will be able to spot that.
Q: He's the only one who could.
[
Tanner turns and sees Mallory standing behind them]
Tanner: Sir.
Q: Oh.
Gareth Mallory: What are you doing?
Q: We're just... monitoring.
Gareth Mallory: Creating a false tracking signal for Silva to follow.
Tanner: Well, sir, um...
Q: Well, no...
Gareth Mallory: Excellent thinking, get him isolated. Send him on the A9. It's a direct route. You can monitor his progress more accurately and confirm it with the traffic cameras.
Q: But, uh... what if PM finds out?
Gareth Mallory: Then we're all buggered. Carry on.
[
Bond is chasing Silva who escaped, trying to open a door]
James Bond: It won't open.
Q: Of course it will, put your back into it.
James Bond: Why don't you come down here and put your back into it?
Q: [
Via Bond's earpiece] Where are you?
James Bond: [
He's on the train] Take a wild guess, Q.
Q: Good luck out there in the field... And please return the equipment in one piece.
La morte può attendere (2002)
James Bond: You know, you're cleverer than you look.
Q: Still, better than looking cleverer than you are.
Q: I wish I could make you vanish.
James Bond: You must be joking.
Q: As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work.
James Bond: Check the tape. You'll find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound.
Q: There's always an excuse, isn't there, Double-O-Zero?
James Bond: Give me the old fashioned target range, Quartermaster.
Q: Yes, well, it's called the future, so get used to it.
Q: Must you touch everything?
[
Q and Bond enter Q's office as Bond looks around at the vast array of devices left over from previous cases]
James Bond: So, this is where they keep the old relics, then, eh?
Q: I'll have you know our TOP cutting-edge technology is designed here.
James Bond: [
releasing the knife from the briefcase used in the From Russia With Love affair and fingering a blade] Point taken...
Q: Must you touch everything?
James Bond: [
seeing his Thunderball jet pack] Hey, does this still work?
[
James activates the jet pack, and Q struggles to subdue it]
Q: Now look...
James Bond: [
holding up the knife-studded shoe worn by Rosa Klebb years ago] So where is this cutting-edge stuff?
Q: I'm trying to get to it.
[
Moneypenny is typing a disinformative newspaper report in her office, when 007 walks in]
Miss Moneypenny: James...
[
They begin to make out, when all of a sudden... ]
Q: [
walking in] Moneypenny?
[
Moneypenny sits up and in reality is in the virtual reality simulation centre]
Miss Moneypenny: Um... I was... just testing it out.
[
She blushes and buttons her blouse]
Q: It's rather hard, isn't it?
Miss Moneypenny: Yes... very...
Q: [
Explaining the Aston Martin] ... Your new transportation
[
nothing visible on the platform]
James Bond: I think you've been down here too long...
GoldenEye (1995)
Q: Now, this I'm particularly proud of - behind the headlights, stinger missiles!
James Bond: Excellent, just the thing for unwinding after a rough day at the office.
Q: Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.
[
Q has blown up a dummy with an explosive pen]
Q: Don't say it...
James Bond: The writing is on the wall.
Q: Along with the rest of him.
Q: A pen. This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the four-second fuse, another three disarms it.
[
Bond takes the pen, clicks three times]
James Bond: How long did you say the fuse was?
[
Q takes the pen back and disarms it]
Q: Oh grow up, 007.
James Bond: They always said the pen was mightier than the sword.
Q: Thanks to me they were right!
Q: Now, a typical leather belt... male, size 34 buckle, notch.
[
Bond is playing with a computer]
Q: Are you finished?
[
Bond closes the laptop]
James Bond: Yes.
Q: Good. A typical leather belt...
[
Q appears, wheelchair-bound with his leg in a cast]
James Bond: Morning Q. Sorry about the leg. Skiing?
[
Q's leg "cast" fires a rocket across the room]
Q: Hunting!
[
Bond picks up a sandwich roll, studying it like a gadget]
Q: Don't touch that! It's my lunch!
Q: A typical leather belt, size...
James Bond: Q, I'm familiar with that device.
Octopussy - Operazione piovra (1983)
Vijay: Is he still there?
Q: You must be joking! Double-0 seven on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!
[
Bond and Q are floating in a hot air balloon]
James Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q: It goes by hot air.
James Bond: Oh, then you can.
James Bond: [
handing Q his coat] Do you think you can help me? Someone seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
Q: Oh, and missed you, did they? What a pity!
Q: [
being kissed by Octopussy's girls after knocking out a bandit] Cut it out! We don't have time for that! Later perhaps.
Q: [
Q is demonstrating a pen filled with acid] Dissolves all metals.
James Bond: Wonderful for poison pen letters...
Q: Pay attention, 007!
Q: There's no time for that... later perhaps.
James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing (2003) (VG)
Q: Ah, 007, we have some new equipment for you. Have you met my new assistant, Miss Nagai?
Bond, James: I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
Q: And you won't if I have any say in the matter.
Q: Now, 007, do try to return this equipment in pristine condition.
Bond, James: I'll do my best.
Q: That's what I was afraid of.
Q: [
Bond escapes Peru on aboard an aeroplane] Congratulations 007. You saved the girl and destroyed most of my equipment. I hope you're happy 007?
Bond, James: Better than saving the equipment and losing the girl, don't you agree?
Q: [
annoyed] Oh, 007 I give up!
Q: Time is short 007. We only had time to upgrade your grenades.
Bond, James: [
Miss Nagai hands him a coin, which is a grenade] More change, Q?
Miss Nagai: This grenade sends out an eletric magnetic pluse, destroying any eletronic device near the blast.
Bond, James: [
throws the coin near some monitors and detonates the grenade, destroying the monitors] A Stunning development.
Q: [
annoyed] Oh, grow up.
Q: [
after reaching the plane] Congradulations 007. You saved the girl and destroyed most of my equipment.
Bond, James: That's better than saving the equipment and losing the girl, don't you agree?
Q: [
Slightly annoyed] Oh, 007 I give up.
007 - Vendetta privata (1989)
James Bond: This is no place for you, Q. Go home.
Q: Oh, don't be an idiot, 007. I know exactly what you're up to, and quite frankly, you're going to need my help. Remember, if it hadn't been for Q Branch, you'd have been dead long ago.
[
opens a case]
Q: Everything for a man on holiday. Explosive alarm clock - guaranteed never to wake up anyone who uses it. Dentonite toothpaste - to be used sparingly, the latest in plastic explosive.
James Bond: I could do with some plastic.
James Bond: Pam, this is Q, my "uncle". Uncle, this is "Miss Kennedy," my "cousin."
Q: Ah! We must be related.
[
kisses her]
Pam Bouvier: [
Mocking Lupe Lamora] I love James so much.
[
Normal voice]
Pam Bouvier: I'll be damned if I help him.
Q: Look... Don't judge him too harshly, my dear. Field operatives much often use every means that their disposal to achieve their objectives.
Pam Bouvier: Bullshit!
La spia che mi amava (1977)
Q: Right. Now pay attention, 007. I want you to take great care of this equipment. There are one or two rather special accessories...
James Bond: Q, have I ever let you down?
Q: Frequently.
Q: Good morning 007.
Q: Mission successful?
007: Nightfire (2002) (VG)
Q: Welcome aboard, 007.
Q: And finally, the Q-Worm.
Bond: Q! There's a lady present!
Q: Really 007, just ONCE I would like to get a car back in one piece!
Il domani non muore mai (1997)
Q: It's the insurance damage waiver for your beautiful new car. Now, will you need collision coverage?
James Bond: Yes.
Q: Fire?
James Bond: Probably.
Q: Property destruction?
James Bond: Definitely.
Q: Personal Injury?
James Bond: I hope not, but accidents do happen.
Q: They frequently do with you.
James Bond: Well, that takes care of the normal wear-and-tear. Is there any other protection I need?
Q: Only from me 007, unless you bring that car back in pristine order.
Q: Here's your cell phone. Talk here, listen here.
James Bond: So that's what I've been doing wrong for all these years?
James Bond: I think we understand each other.
Q: Grow up, 007.
Il mondo non basta (1999)
Q: Oh, grow up, double-O Seven!
Q: I've always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.
James Bond: And the second?
Q: Always have an escape plan.
James Bond: I suppose we all have to pay the piper sometime. Right, Q?
Q: Oh, pipe down, 007!
James Bond: Was it something I said?
Q: No, something you destroyed. My fishing boat! For my retirement, away from you!
Agente 007 - Missione Goldfinger (1964)
Q: [
Showing Bond a tracking device] Reception on the dashboard, here. Audo-visual
[
sic]
Q: , range a hundred and fifty miles.
James Bond: Ingenious, and useful too. Allow a man to stop off for a quick one en route.
Q: It has not been perfected, out of years of patient research, ENTIRELY for that purpose, 007. And incidentally, we'd appreciate its return, along with all your other equipment, INTACT for once, when you return from the field.
James Bond: Well, you'd be surprised the amount of wear and tear that goes on out there in the field.
Q: Now this one I'm particularly keen about. You see the gear lever here? Now, if you take the top off, you will find a little red button. Whatever you do, don't touch it.
James Bond: Yeah, why not?
Q: Because you'll release this section of the roof, and engage and then fire the passenger ejector seat. Whish!
James Bond: Ejector seat? You're joking!
Q: I never joke about my work, 007.
[
walking through Q Branch, one worker calmly empties a machine gun at another man's chest, who then opens his coat to reveal a bulletproof vest]
Q: It's not perfected yet.
Agente 007 - Al servizio segreto di Sua Maestà (1969)
[
first lines]
Q: I've been saying for years, sir, that our special equipment is obsolete. And now, computer analysis reveals an entirely new approach: miniaturization. For instance, radioactive lint. When placed in an opponent's pockets, the anti-personnel and location fix seems fairly obvious.
M: What we want is a location fix on 007.
[
wishing Bond luck on his wedding day]
Q: Look, James, I know that we haven't always exactly seen... well, anyway, don't forget, if there's anything you ever need...
James Bond: Thank you, Q, but this time I've got the gadgets and I know how to use them.
007 - Bersaglio mobile (1985)
[
last lines]
[
Bond is in the shower with Stacey and Q is using Snooper to spy on them]
Q: 007 alive.
M: Where is he? What's he doing?
Q: Just cleaning up a few details.
Stacey Sutton: Oh, James!
Q: She must take a lot of vitamins!
James Bond: Yes, and perhaps Pegasus does too.
007 - Zona pericolo (1987)
[
after demonstrating a boom-box rocket launcher]
Q: [
to Bond] Something we're making for the Americans. It's called a "Ghetto Blaster".
James Bond: Just taking the Aston out for a spin, Q.
Q: Be careful, 007! It's just had a new coat of paint!
Agente 007 - Thunderball: operazione tuono (1965)
Q: Try to be a little less than your frivolous self, 007.
Q: It is to be handled with special care!
James Bond: Everything you give me...
Q: ...is treated with equal contempt. Yes, I know.
Solo per i tuoi occhi (1981)
[
Bond walks into a Greek Confessional Booth]
James Bond: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q: [
Removing disguise] That's putting it mildly, 007!
[
last lines]
The Prime Minister: [
over the phone] Ah, Mr. Bond. I wanted to call you personnally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you.
Parrot: Thank you, thank you.
The Prime Minister: Don't thank me, Mr. Bond. Your courage and resourcefulness are a credit to the nation. Denis and I look forward to meeting you. Meanwhile, if there is anything I can do for you...
Parrot: Give us a kiss, give us a kiss.
The Prime Minister: Well, really, Mr. Bond.
Tanner: I think we're having a little trouble with the line, madam.
Frederick Gray: [
to Q] You idiot. Get on to him.
Q: 007. 007.
Frederick Gray: Bond! Have you gone mad? What's going on? Bond. Bond! BOND!
Agente 007 - L'uomo dalla pistola d'oro (1974)
[
M stares in shock as Bond relays news of his foul-up]
James Bond: And that's really all there is to it...
M: So if I understand it, Scaramanga got away - in a car that sprouted wings!
Q: Oh, that's perfectly feasible, sir. In fact, we're working on one now.
M: Oh, shut up, Q!
James Bond: We found the carplane abandonned about two hundred miles west of Bangkok.
M: And the Solex?
Lieutenant Hip: In Goodnight's handbag, sir.
M: [
shakes head] And where is Miss Goodnight now?
James Bond: Well, Communications aren't picking up the signal from the homing device she has supplied by Q.
Q: [
indignantly] Rubbish! They're simply not stepping up reception sufficiently to enable...
M: [
cuts him off] Oh, Q, shut up! Of all the fouled-up, half-witted operations...
Colthorpe: [
trying to trace origins of a golden bullet] Lazar?
Q: Lazar? Hmm, imaginative, highly specialised... Yes! I concur.
James Bond: Well, what the hell is Lazar?
Colthorpe: Not "what", "who". Portuguese. Lives in Macau.
Q: Chap who made the bullet, 007!
Moonraker - Operazione spazio (1979)
Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defence: My God, what's Bond doing?
Q: I think he's attempting re-entry, sir.
Q: [
explaining operation of dart wrist-gun] It's activated by nerve impulses from the wrist muscles.
James Bond: Like this?
[
dart pierces a painting on M's wall]
M: Oh, thank you, 007!
Q: Be careful, will you? Now, there's ten darts: five blue-tipped, with armour-piercing heads; five red-tipped, cyanide coated, causing death in thirty seconds.
James Bond: Very novel, Q. Must get them in the stores for Christmas. Good day, gentlemen!
Agente 007 - Licenza di uccidere (1962)
Major Boothroyd: [
to M, referring to Bond's Baretta] Nice and light... in a lady's handbag.
M: Any comment, 007?
James Bond: I disagree, sir. I've carried the Baretta for ten years, and I've never missed with it.
M: No, but it jameed on you last job, and you spent six months in hospital in consequence. When you carry a 00 number, you have a license to kill, not get killed. Furthermore, since I've been head of MI7
[
sic - MI6]
M: there's been a forty percent drop in casualties, and I want to keep it that way. From now on you carry the Walther... unless you'd rather return to standard intelligence duties.
James Bond: No sir,I would not.
M: [
to Boothroyd] Show him, Armourer.
Major Boothroyd: [
to Bond] Walther PPK, 7.65 millimeter, with a delivery like a brick through a plate-glass window. The American CIA swear by them.
Agente 007 - Si vive solo due volte (1967)
Tiger Tanaka: [
discussing Osato Chemicals' supertanker, the Ning Po, which is known to be smuggling rocket fuel] We shadowed the Ning Po to the outer islands.
Aki: It was very dark. Hard to see her all the time.
Tiger Tanaka: But we know she stopped somewhere. Look at these photos.
[
Tiger hands James photos of the Ning Po]
Aki: Look at the water line.
James Bond: [
noticing the higher water line of the ship in seperate photos] You're right. Fully laden here, and empty here.
James Bond: [
getting up] I want to take a look at the island now. Is Little Nellie here?
Tiger Tanaka: Yes. And her father.
[
James, Aki, and Tiger enter a nearby garage where an agitated and sweating Q is waiting]
James Bond: [
sarcastically] Welcome to Japan, Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready?
Q: [
annoyed] Look, 007, I've had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, so I'm in no mood for juvenile quips.
Agente 007 - Una cascata di diamanti (1971)
Tiffany Case: [
while Q is playing the slot machines, winning big every time] Hi there, Mr. Q. Are you having any luck?
Q: I'm being somewhat successful, thank you.
James Bond 007 - Casino Royale (1967)
Q: [
to Evelyn Tremble entering the laboratory. He hands him a form] If you'd be good enough to sign here, sir. It's not for me, it's for the Official Secrets Act.
Mai dire mai (1983)
Q: Good to see you Mr. Bond. Things've been awfully dull 'round here. I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence in this one!
James Bond: I certainly hope so too.
Allkopi Royale (2006)
Q: For once, please bring the car back in one piece.
Agent Allkopi 7: Don't worry Q, I've looked at the manual.
